Sane Sex Education

At last, an elementary school sex education program kids can relate to! Information sent in plain wrapper to certified administrators only. Center for Early Yearning

THINK METRIC!

Laminated wall chart, approximately 14 by 22 inches in full color. International Metrication Distributing Company (formerly Novelty Discount Stores)

Career Education Series

New software lets students explore less obvious career opportunities: shepherd, anarchist, serf, information booth attendant, reconstructionist, finder's keeper, mother's helper. Goodcents School Ventures

Update Your Curriculum with ICL/RDA

(Innovative Curriculum Labels for what you were Regularly Doing Anyway)

Package includes stick-on labels for curriculum guides, and role buttons to identify TPs (teacher pals), ABs (administrator buddies) and KCs (kiddos in classrooms). Beat-em-Out Associates

GET FUNDED!

We will go through all your district proposals and insert current buzzwords guaranteed to impress funding agencies. Pay in advance only. Addafad Educational Consultants

Reading Program Evaluation

Armed, uniformed sales representatives will come to your school and compare your present program with the externally motivated Phonicblitz Suresystem. Your students will want to read! Knowkidding Publishing Company

Activities Sourcebook

New collection of activities found in other collections of activities, arranged for the first time in new categories. Wunmore-Tyme Resources

Creative Recycling

Imaginative school uses for farm and industrial waste. Hands-on total child activities using sludge, chaff, soot, grime and ashes. Klassroom Salvage Company

Resistance to Teaching Science?

New integrated approach shows how you can designate present math, reading or social studies programs as "and science." No more need to postpone this subject until the last week of school. Undetectable! Status Quo Education Outfitters

Too Embarrassed to Ask?

Free Web resources for 9- to 15-year-olds answer questions about the federal government with candor. Rite-to-Know Associates

Chopped Liver as an Integrating Theme

Class investigations from poetic inspiration and use in warfare, to musical qualities and properties of insulation. Write for a sample (designate with or without mayonnaise). Principals Cooperative Deli

Bingo Services

Circle code numerals at random on our postage-paid cards, and bring a steady stream of sales representatives to your school. End loneliness. Gotcha-Now Referrals

Interdisciplinary Reading and Karate

Even the most timid learners in your district will learn to grasp concepts and attack words. Includes muscle tone phonics exercises for each grade level. Ding and Jane LLC.

Educators Appreciate Honesty

As soon as we get 10,000 orders for our revolutionary humanistic curriculum guide, we can start writing it. Delivery in September assured (year to be announced). Send $30 per book to Of-the-People Products

We Don't Disguise Our Appeal

Get class quantities of bookmarks and posters containing product names only. Absolutely no confusing educational messages! Write for giant catalog. Kidhook Commercial Services.

Nonsexist Teaching Materials

Chalk, rulers, paperclips and twine. Price list on request (send last name only). Ele***tary Teac*** Supply

Math-Lav(TM) Activities

Do more males or females leave the room? Does the time of day matter? What about odd days compared to even days? Students can answer such practical questions with the histograms and line graphs they learn to construct in Math-Lav. Counter Productive Programs

FutureSchlock

New text identifies emerging curriculum trends that will be discarded tomorrow. Don't get on a bandwagon to nowhere! Vera's Print Shop and Tea Room

Biracial Music

Students learn to play "Old Black Joe" and other Foster favorites on the honky-tonk piano using black and white keys. Write for colorless catalog. The Diversiblend Group

TA in Public Schools

The reissued best-seller describing the when and if of Territorial Assessment: "I'm Still OK, But You Were Never Much to Brag About." Jiffytrend Book People

Inquiro-Mini-Discovero-Learna-Paks

Updated versions of the successful Bee-Zee-Work handout collections. Timefill, Inc.

Manage Creativity

Precut materials and easy-to-read step-by-step directions make art expression manageable in K12 schools. Specify blue comb case, red coin purse or yellow bookmark. Sold in lots of 30 (sorry, no mixed lots). Arty School Imports

Simulated European Tours

Mail a snapshot to us and we'll position you in 200 pictures of European landmarks. Kit includes baggage labels, menus and towels from Copenhagen, Paris, Rome, Monte Carlo, St. Moritz and Vienna. Impresso Travel Groups

Self-Paced Handwriting Curriculum

CD-ROM-based program with 26 behavioral objectives teaches cursive letters. Shipped in attractive leatherette display case with optional storage area for pens and paper. Space-Quill

New Administrator?

Learn to speak "Curric" in the privacy of your home. Imagine the looks of colleagues when you casually interject such ideas as "In my opinion the affective behavioral assessments of modified naturalistic instructional sequences confirm assimilation of sensori-perceptive modes into functioning structures of precognitive schemata!" Videotape with earphones and handy Book of Random Words. Bullitz Language Schools.

Odvard Egil Dyrli, gdyrli@edmediagroup.com, is editor-in-chief of District Administration and emeritus professor of education at the University of Connecticut.