Off the Record: What "No Child" Leaves Behind

Off the Record: What "No Child" Leaves Behind

After nine years of terrorizing schools nationwide, NCLB is about to be reformed, but even more importantly, renamed.

The No Child Left Behind Act dates back to Lyndon Johnson's 1965 Elementary and Secondary Education Act, part of that president's ambitious signature policy, the War on Poverty. After a 36-year conflict, however, poverty was officially declared the winner in 2001. As a result, the ESEA was revamped and renamed the No Child left Behind Act by George W. Bush in 2002, and was apparently part of the president's ambitious signature policy, the War on Terror. After nine years of terrorizing schools nationwide, however, the bill is about to be reformed, but even more importantly, renamed.

Why rename the legislation yet again? Because there are so many similarly named bills, it confuses the public. NCLB is not, for example, associated with the pro-universal-spanking legislation, No Child's Behind Left. It also has nothing to do with the bill banning liberal politics from school drama productions, known as No Left Child's Behind Acts. NCLB was also unrelated to the law passed requiring parents to be able to identify their children diagonally from the rear, the Know Your Child's Left Behind Act.

Sen. Tom Harkin (D-Iowa) recently suggested that a revamped NCLB might be renamed "Every Child Counts." (Presumably, the bill will not only be math related but will mandate that every child also read and write.) At any rate, care should be taken not to confuse this new legislation with the little-known provision in the health care overhaul that guarantees coverage to the families of vampires, known as Every Count's Child. It should also be made clear that this will have nothing to do with the mandatory attendance policy recently passed by the Department of Education, called Count Every Child's Behind.

Still confused? Look for a law that will serve as a guide, titled Every Bit Helps.


Advertisement